The Murdered Apple

Dreadlords

Drinking mint tea right now.
In a bit of a funk - big surprise. Lower back is the problem right now. It is in constant rather sharp pain. My personal best guess is that the constant adjustment to deal with the neck pain finally screwed over the lumbar portion and now I am at the edge of a lumbar herniated disc. The only potential benefit is that the pain distracts me from the strange vision problems and tomorrow's brain MRI. It has been 8 months since the last one. That's ample time to see if something - anything - has GROWN or SHRUNK in there.

Of course I won't see the diagnosis until my return from London. I am meeting my publisher on Friday and we are going out drinking. Drinking. In London. With my publisher. I love the sound of that.

I resumed extensive mindcontrol exercises. This would normally be a positive development. I honestly believe I can heal myself (both spine and brain). The only problem with mind control and I is that when I do it a lot the tenuous link I heretofore managed to maintain with reality begins to slip. This is really a valuable resource when I write fiction but if anyone had any idea what images arise within my mind they would be disturbed. I am, sometimes.

I am having Guineafowl soup for dinner later. I got my apple painting from the studio and will post a picture of it tomorrow. These two things are related. How is not important. What is interesting is that for some reason I can't get a sharp image of the painting to upload. The camera is great - but for some reason it won't focus on the apple. It focuses on all other objects and people. There is no technical reason, so I am assuming THE APPLE DOES NOT WANT TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED. If you saw the painting you would understand why I lend credence to this idea.

Flicker flicker flicker.

I am raging against the dying of the light. But it is hard.

Breakfast

I have just decided to make hot sandwiches for breakfast. I love hot sandwiches. I use smoked ham, tomatoes, two kinds of cheese, fresh bread, olives. I bake all this, sprinkle the result with black pepper and salt, and drink coffee and orange juice on the side. This will be my morning project. But first I have to go and buy ingredients.

Yes, anynomous (I know I misspelled that), a new book came out in the UK in October and in the US in November. It is under my pen name and top secret and what not so I won't talk about it here... Hopefully the new book will be out under my name and I will be able to talk about it.

Brain MRI is on the 27th. I am not worried about it. I just don't feel like there is anything in there that I am supposed to worry about.

I will be on the blog more often now. There might be a Mr. Fox and Rabbit too.
And I am painting! I painted an apple yesterday. I skewered it with a paintbrush and put it in the center of a bowl of water that I poured some red wine in. I called the picture Staked Vampire Apple. I will post a picture of it, eventually.

Personal Update

I will post an update on my fate…

So on Monday I am going to my neural surgeon and tell him that my neck is wrecked but that after strenuous internet research I came to share his dislike of surgery. If he fuses my vertebrae (all three that are totally screwed) I will become something like a rigid twig with some meat. Also the ones over and under the bad part will take on additional strain and they are ALMOST fucked.

So Reni (this ungodly hot girl, the one on the left of this picture from the Halloween party, who is devoted to her boyfriend, lucky bastard) recommended that I take this powerful concentrate of glucosamine and things… And I am also taking this green shell extract… and I am going to the acupuncture woman in a few weeks… And I am going to a massage therapist… and I am doing the mind control thing…. Although I should be doing more of that. So that’s the neck issue.

Oh yeah – I had several tests all of which were POSITIVE, showing tumor cells in the center of my head. Having said that, my brain surgeon simply told me that they are not NECESSARILY tumor cells, just BRAIN DAMAGE due to MASSIVE RADIATION. I am going to see him on Monday and he will schedule my biannual brain MRI, which is always fun.

I confess: I rather enjoy encountering whining old people with flimsy ailments. They shut up in a real hurry and look rather displeased that their diseases suck so bad compared to my cool deadly disease. Fuck you, old person! My disease makes yours look like a WALK IN THE FUCKING PARK.

I am going to London at the end of the month to meet my publisher and research my latest book that I should be writing right now if I wasn’t such a lazy fuck.

I am going to Italy on a skiing trip in February, probably, because it’s a THRILL to ski with 3 herniated discs and a shunt. I mean that. One skies really well when falling means potential DEATH or PARALYSIS. But, you know, fuck it. I live but once (well, I only remember 1 life at a time) and I might as well make the most of it.

I am playing Fantasy Football, a 14 person league with 17 players on each team. I am going to bitch about fantasy football for a bit. Half the people don’t pay any attention, so they don’t plug in people when there is a bye, they have sleepers languishing on their bench, etc etc. Fantasy Football would be great if international disputes were settled that way. People would REALLY PAY ATTENTION. God I really want to drink a Coke. I am eating Nutella but that’s not a true Coke substitute.

I translate a lot… I had to type so much I got repetitive stress injury. And then I closed my window last night by pushing against the glass and OF COURSE I BREAK THROUGH THE FUCKING GLASS and there is blood and this enormous shattering sound outside my window (I live on the 2nd floor, about 5 meters off the ground) and I couldn’t tell if my hand was numb because it had severed nerves or because of the repetitive stress injury so I went out to a comedy club (THE Comedy Club, there is really only one in this city) where my friends stared at my hand and made baffled noises.

So the current plan of attack is to finish the new book, await the results of the brain and neck MRIs, date someone again (it’s been a long time) and enjoy each frigging second. And rink some coke.

Halloween Party