Mr. Fox and Rabbit - Part 5

“I… see. Would this pseudonym have been, say… James Whitcomb Riley?”
Toad smiled the broad smile of the truly stupid. “Why yes! You have heard of my work?”
“Yes. I have. Alas. Heard. Your… ‘Work’. You LIVED in the late 1800s.”
“Exactly! It’s wonderful that you like my work.”
“This reminds me of a scene from The Scorpion King.” Said Mr. Fox.
Dr. Bear sighed and pondered the size and shape of his ass. Could it have served as a sort of an incubator of life? Could it have taken the molecules of Mr. Fox and truly recombined them, skipping conception? He looked around nervously. Does this miracle make him a candidate for sainthood, and if so, how will this event change his life? These are typical thoughts coursing through the golf ball sized brain of a 2000 pound ursanoid.
Rabbit pointedly ignored the interruption. “I did not say I liked his work.”
“So there is this part where the Rock ties this rope to his camel and he rappels down the line to the to the enemy camp…”
“Oy, you didn’t. But this poem is from a book entitled ‘the best loved poems of James Whitcomb Riley’. They would not have named it that way if they were not the best loved poems.”
“…but the camel is stubborn and it lays down just as the Rock is getting to the guards and he is discovered…”
Dr. Bear scratched his ass with great reverence.
Rabbit shut his eyes. “You are right. You are absolutely right.”
“…only to end up in a tent with this amazingly hot Asian chick who is dripping wet. But all is not good – his brother is killed. Don’t you think?”
Dr. Bear carefully examined the sad remnants of the joint in his hand. He did not look at Mr. Fox. He did not whisper. It was all a steady, droning monotone, as if the output tray of his brain was simply full and he had to unload the contents before he could move on. “If I blow on this roach… Will there be two of you?”
Rabbit grinned. “I always see double when I’m blown. So, tell me, who inspired your love poetry?”
“To be perfectly frank, it’s a Married Coworker Who Thinks I’m Completely Insane (McWtici)”
“Brilliant. You are just too brilliant, Toad. Tell me more about this CATCH.”
Dr. Bear considered Mr. Fox and the roach in his paw. If Mr. Fox was sucked into the roach, AND came out of his ass… What could possibly explain this dichotomy? A gaseous anomaly! He felt intense relief when he realized this explained everything. He faced Toad. “Yes – what does she think about your love poems? Do they work? Does she get teary eyed?”
Rabbit grinned (fixedly, still). “Does she get naked?”
“Well… She does not get naked.”
“Complete waste of time, then.”
“Oy… Sort of figured that after she blew me off the 91st time.”
“Smoke some more catnip, Toad.”
They all smoked catnip with industrial efficiency, duly commiserating with Perfectly Frank.
They smoked catnip until they were within a thick cloud of exciting, colorful smoke; clingy and needy, yet too attractive to leave. Rabbit’s shrill voice somehow crawled its way free.
“….pped the Studebaker. I know exactly where you are, Toad. I had the exact same problem two years ago: There was this fluffy little bunny with the cutest, tightest ass. At least I hope she was a bunny. Once I saw that ass I was a goner, totally lovestruck. I saw the ass in the meadow and humped it until I passed out. When I woke up it was gone.”
“Uhm… Rabbit, how does this bear even the most remote resemblance to Toad’s OOYMFETAI?”
“Well, Mr. Fox, a couple of things… Correct me if I am wrong, Toad, but your lady love has an ass, does she not?”
“Oy.”
“There.”
“You said a couple of things.”
“Yes – now, I know what it means, but I am sure Dr. Bear doesn’t, so please explain to him what OOYFE is.”
“OOYMFETAI.”
“That’s what I said.”
Mr. Fox intoned with relish. “Out Of Your Mind For Even Thinking About It.”