PET scan stuff
Had my PET scan - it is a surreal place and surreal events occur therein. So. Where should I start? The bathroom nearly entirely filled with biohazard barrels? The incredibly busty 21 year old pharmacist escorting her brain tumor recovery patient dad? My decision to just chill tonight instead of attending a party of this flock of chicks because I work with them and if I get drunk I will become sadly - sadly - vulnerable and I will flirt on autopilot and inevitably I will sleep with one of them (well, at least one of them) and that would be shameless and an utter disaster to boot, so I will just not do it.
New pseudo girlfriend (this is a special status - we are seeing each other and we are theoretically free to date other people but we are careful not to) is cooking for me tomorrow - this is a direct result of me cooking for her the other day, which was a big hit and now I am a favorite of her friends whom I have not yet met. My theory on this is that she is not introducing me because she is concerned I might like her friends better (some of whom are exactly my type, supposedly) and because she does not want to push.
Well, I will not push.
Oh yeah. So the other night...
Cutest way to confess you are a slut:
SDW: When I die, when I die, my punishment will be to be reincarnated as a swan, forced to be faithful to my man.
TWP: You will be starring on one of those Discovery Channel specials – the voiceover will be gushing about the legendary fidelity of the swan, focusing in on your eyes and beak – and then suddenly you will raise your butt in the air as a flock of male swans fly by – they immediately abandon their wives and zoom in on your tempting, upraised butt. Voiceover halts with a sudden screech, replaced by stunned silence.
SDW: Hahahaha, I will be the first slut swan. I just want to fuck around a little bit. Is that so bad?
TWP: Uhm, NO. I don’t mind at all.
(No, NOTHING happened – puzzling yet true)
New pseudo girlfriend (this is a special status - we are seeing each other and we are theoretically free to date other people but we are careful not to) is cooking for me tomorrow - this is a direct result of me cooking for her the other day, which was a big hit and now I am a favorite of her friends whom I have not yet met. My theory on this is that she is not introducing me because she is concerned I might like her friends better (some of whom are exactly my type, supposedly) and because she does not want to push.
Well, I will not push.
Oh yeah. So the other night...
Cutest way to confess you are a slut:
SDW: When I die, when I die, my punishment will be to be reincarnated as a swan, forced to be faithful to my man.
TWP: You will be starring on one of those Discovery Channel specials – the voiceover will be gushing about the legendary fidelity of the swan, focusing in on your eyes and beak – and then suddenly you will raise your butt in the air as a flock of male swans fly by – they immediately abandon their wives and zoom in on your tempting, upraised butt. Voiceover halts with a sudden screech, replaced by stunned silence.
SDW: Hahahaha, I will be the first slut swan. I just want to fuck around a little bit. Is that so bad?
TWP: Uhm, NO. I don’t mind at all.
(No, NOTHING happened – puzzling yet true)
posted by Balázsy András at 7:15 PM
1 Comments:
Have you considered adding to your sidebar a link to a post that explains all the acronyms? You could update it whenever you talk about someone new, and it would make your blog a lot more accessible if people didn't have to search your archives because they forgot that SDW = Smiling Devil Waitress.
When do you get the results of your PET scan?
Slutty swans. Nice. I'd watch that show, I think.
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