Cocktelligent Design
...Kansas, where State Board of Education hearings begin Thursday on evolution and intelligent design, a carefully marketed theory that challenges accepted understandings of Earth's origins in favor of the idea that a creator played a guiding role.
I AGREE COMPLETELY. However, it was not the Creator who played a guiding role. It was a 27 mile long, hairy penis, practically bursting with grainy goodness. Within the head of this monstrosity was a networked computer, constructed of beechwood and gorgonzola cheese. This incredible machine extrapolated all life, intelligent life, the development of newts and witchcraft, the development of blogs, the development of The Winged Pig, and his development of this post.
FURTHERMORE, the HAIRY PENIS constructed the ENTIRE UNIVERSE to generate a pretty twinkling backdrop to this poem by The Winged Pig. The Universe has no other function, really.
Giant cocktelligent design
Yes. You got it. That was the whole fucking poem. Three words, a single line, one of the words completely made up and vaguely obscene. You were waiting for some great apotheosis epic Gilgamesh ripoff, weren't you. Well, it kind of sucks to be you.
I AGREE COMPLETELY. However, it was not the Creator who played a guiding role. It was a 27 mile long, hairy penis, practically bursting with grainy goodness. Within the head of this monstrosity was a networked computer, constructed of beechwood and gorgonzola cheese. This incredible machine extrapolated all life, intelligent life, the development of newts and witchcraft, the development of blogs, the development of The Winged Pig, and his development of this post.
FURTHERMORE, the HAIRY PENIS constructed the ENTIRE UNIVERSE to generate a pretty twinkling backdrop to this poem by The Winged Pig. The Universe has no other function, really.
Giant cocktelligent design
Yes. You got it. That was the whole fucking poem. Three words, a single line, one of the words completely made up and vaguely obscene. You were waiting for some great apotheosis epic Gilgamesh ripoff, weren't you. Well, it kind of sucks to be you.
posted by Balázsy András at 10:17 PM
3 Comments:
Wow... those gypsy voodoo love magic drugs are really something.
Also, people need to say "gorgonzola" much more often. It's a fun sounding word.
unless it is beechwood aged, which it obviously would be in the Creator Penis. Then it tastes like amaretto.
wow. i am in serious need of some of whatever drug you're on.
and, yes, as i have already stated, it does indeed suck to be me.
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