DVD Hell
So. I have three DVDs in Hungary. I cannot watch any DVDs here because my laptop is set to the US standard and you only get three chances to switch between standards and I already used up two of them. What does this mean? It means that when I do not write or read (which is not often, thank God, but still, occasionally I admit to some intellectual sloth) I am limited to the following gems:
1. Dune – the old one with Patrick Stewart and the dude on Sex in the City.
2. Fight Club
3. Walking with Prehistoric Beasts (PBS special)
Dune – this is just a great B movie. You have got to appreciate the absolute insistence on following the book. You see, most people who direct movies realize that following the book to the letter makes for a totally shitty movie that nobody but the biggest nerds can possibly enjoy. This is the absolute prime example. When this movie came out (I vaguely remember this – I am old) they distributed little cards with definitions and names of planets and people and what not. Without this thing you were completely lost. Of course, once the movie started, they turned out the lights, so you could not read the little cards. Thus, you had to memorize the vocabulary words on the card or you were just fucked. This movie is so cheesy it defies description.
Now, I love Fight Club. I can watch it over and over. Still, it is not healthy to watch that movie OVER and OVER. It makes you very IMPATIENT with shit. Like, filling out forms. After I watch Fight Club, I am sorely tempted to ATTACK myself in an amused copycat effort to improve the level of customer service.
Walking with Prehistoric Beasts – when you watch shit like this you fall asleep thinking you just saw something terribly educational and you feel good about it. When you have it on DVD and you are FORCED to reflect on what exactly you have seen, your conclusions change. The next time you see some animal show, spend five minutes, write down what you have learned. You are in for a surprise – you learned, maybe, two point five vignettes of useless shit for animals whose names you have already forgotten. Animal shows are the sugar free yogurts of the TV kingdom. They are lemonade shows masquerading as health food.
1. Dune – the old one with Patrick Stewart and the dude on Sex in the City.
2. Fight Club
3. Walking with Prehistoric Beasts (PBS special)
Dune – this is just a great B movie. You have got to appreciate the absolute insistence on following the book. You see, most people who direct movies realize that following the book to the letter makes for a totally shitty movie that nobody but the biggest nerds can possibly enjoy. This is the absolute prime example. When this movie came out (I vaguely remember this – I am old) they distributed little cards with definitions and names of planets and people and what not. Without this thing you were completely lost. Of course, once the movie started, they turned out the lights, so you could not read the little cards. Thus, you had to memorize the vocabulary words on the card or you were just fucked. This movie is so cheesy it defies description.
Now, I love Fight Club. I can watch it over and over. Still, it is not healthy to watch that movie OVER and OVER. It makes you very IMPATIENT with shit. Like, filling out forms. After I watch Fight Club, I am sorely tempted to ATTACK myself in an amused copycat effort to improve the level of customer service.
Walking with Prehistoric Beasts – when you watch shit like this you fall asleep thinking you just saw something terribly educational and you feel good about it. When you have it on DVD and you are FORCED to reflect on what exactly you have seen, your conclusions change. The next time you see some animal show, spend five minutes, write down what you have learned. You are in for a surprise – you learned, maybe, two point five vignettes of useless shit for animals whose names you have already forgotten. Animal shows are the sugar free yogurts of the TV kingdom. They are lemonade shows masquerading as health food.
posted by Balázsy András at 11:58 PM
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