Worst Come-on EVER

I went to this amazing spa in Budapest. It is marble columns surrounding a pool of 'effervescent water', sort of like a gigantic, rococo cup full of alka seltzer. The fun part was the actual hotspring welling up into pools on the side, separated by sex.

"You."
I glance at the overweight, glassy eyed being addressing me. I am standing underneath a jet of hot water, masquerading as a shower. "Uhm. Yes?"
"Take off your pants."
"Excuse me?"
"Take off your pants. The mineral water... The mineral water will HURT your pants."
"Ugh... Thank you for your concern..."
"Mineral water. Mineral water." He ambled off, glancing back at me every once in a while, the folds of fat on his pale, corpslike flesh cascading (is that the right word? if it isn't, it should be) with every step.
(Did you ever think of what an avalanche like that would be like? Someone's corpulent flesh just cascading off their bones? I just did! Does this make me exceedingly STRANGE? You are reading this, aren't you? Now that I infected you with this obscene image, I can sleep.)

So... A friend is coming to visit me on Friday and we are going on a wine tour in Tokaj on Saturday. There is a four day weekend coming up and I still have not found hotel rooms, so there is a DISTINCT POSSIBILITY that we will get there and promptly freeze to death overnight, sort of reenacting the scene in Dumb and Dumber (when they find the money in the briefcase) but we will skip that part and move straight to the death by exposure scene (which never made the movie because it is sort of a downer).

We will be good and drunk, at least, so we won't feel too bad about dying.