Mr. Fox and Rabbit - Part 20
A lot of sound was being generated inside the convenience store.
“I believe your time would be best served, Commander, by concentrating on the tawdry, filthy sex,” said Rabbit, brandishing the remnant of his white carrot like Excalibur.
Dr. Bear tore through the door of the convenience store like a giant, lumbering bullet. He was trailing Twinkies like the blazing tail of some kind of a dessert comet. “Let’s get movin’” he gasped.
“Fair enough.” Destro threw the carrot towards the pursuers, who instinctively dodged, thereby allowing the tiny legume (I know that is a bean. I just realized my mistake. Stop it. Fuck you! All right, fine, fine.), tiny LUPINE to put the car into gear.
“This is an automatic!” screamed Mr. Fox. “IT HAS NO GEAR!” he thundered.
“Actually, automatic transmissions have gears.” Said Rabbit conversationally. “Older models have 3 gears, newer ones have 4. So there.” He whipped out of the parking lot as the sound of screaming quickly receded behind them.
“That screaming.”
“Yes?”
“Sounded sort of familiar.”
“Yes?”
Mr. Fox raised both paws. He then plopped on his back and raised a foot. “One, two, three. I am seeing THREE.”
“Yes?”
“Where is… Vimes?”
“Well, we gave him plenty of CLUES.”
“So we have. A copper of his caliber (caliber, really, my good chap) should have no problem dealing with that unpleasantness back there. Or find the kidnapped maiden at 321 Holloway Avenue, Baton Rogue, Louisiana, second floor, threatened with ritual sacrifice in four days flat.”
“Fair enough. Did you bring me any twinkies?”
“Ate them.”
“You are selfish and evil.”
Mr. Fox raised his remaining foot. Now he looked like an upside down version of himself except that he normally walked upright on two legs. “I am not evil.”
“What are you, then?”
“I am like Microsoft. I make software to make your dreams come true.”
“You make software?”
“You make my dreams come true?”
“No. But I COULD. It’s the thought that counts.”
“I believe your time would be best served, Commander, by concentrating on the tawdry, filthy sex,” said Rabbit, brandishing the remnant of his white carrot like Excalibur.
Dr. Bear tore through the door of the convenience store like a giant, lumbering bullet. He was trailing Twinkies like the blazing tail of some kind of a dessert comet. “Let’s get movin’” he gasped.
“Fair enough.” Destro threw the carrot towards the pursuers, who instinctively dodged, thereby allowing the tiny legume (I know that is a bean. I just realized my mistake. Stop it. Fuck you! All right, fine, fine.), tiny LUPINE to put the car into gear.
“This is an automatic!” screamed Mr. Fox. “IT HAS NO GEAR!” he thundered.
“Actually, automatic transmissions have gears.” Said Rabbit conversationally. “Older models have 3 gears, newer ones have 4. So there.” He whipped out of the parking lot as the sound of screaming quickly receded behind them.
“That screaming.”
“Yes?”
“Sounded sort of familiar.”
“Yes?”
Mr. Fox raised both paws. He then plopped on his back and raised a foot. “One, two, three. I am seeing THREE.”
“Yes?”
“Where is… Vimes?”
“Well, we gave him plenty of CLUES.”
“So we have. A copper of his caliber (caliber, really, my good chap) should have no problem dealing with that unpleasantness back there. Or find the kidnapped maiden at 321 Holloway Avenue, Baton Rogue, Louisiana, second floor, threatened with ritual sacrifice in four days flat.”
“Fair enough. Did you bring me any twinkies?”
“Ate them.”
“You are selfish and evil.”
Mr. Fox raised his remaining foot. Now he looked like an upside down version of himself except that he normally walked upright on two legs. “I am not evil.”
“What are you, then?”
“I am like Microsoft. I make software to make your dreams come true.”
“You make software?”
“You make my dreams come true?”
“No. But I COULD. It’s the thought that counts.”
posted by Balázsy András at 10:18 PM
2 Comments:
I've always wondered why there's no flying pig cameos in this story. Hell, even my lame unfinished story had a flying pig.
I would like to make a cameo in your story. As mentioned on digi's site, my qualifications include absurdly long legs, a love of cheese and an uncanny ability to prepare microwave burritos.
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