Jiggle my Plastic Thingie

Hooookay. Q & A with The Winged Pig, seasoned with a pile of paprika.

Intro to strange text:
So after 4 months in Hungary I keep tzping Z-s when I should be tzping Y-s. Why am I doing this? I am doing this because Hungarian kezboards juxtapose those two letters. It is really, really annozing. I don’t do it all the time, of course. I do it only when I am too layz to backspace and correct. Now, you are probably telling yourself that I must be doing this entry on a Hungarian keyboard. No. Hungarian keyboards simply screwed mz head and I am doing this on my US laptop. A US laptop from the Dell corporation.

- Am I happy with my US dell product? YES.
- Am I unhappz with its power supply cord thingie? YES. I am even comfortable with the thingie I have to jiggle when I open it up to avoid it going into hibernation (and NO, I am talking about the plastic thingie. And NO, not the plastic thingie you are thinking about. I don’t own a plastic thingie like that. I am talking about the little knob that gets depressed when I shut the laptop... whz do I even bother.).
- Is the cord thingie twisted and broken and onlz charges once in a while, if I twist it 23 degrees counterclockwise? YES.
- Am I getting laid left and right by nubile Hungarian vixens? Uhm. NO.
- Am I a heartbroken idiot moping about a woman half a light year away while surrounded by really, really hot chicks who are totally into me? Uhm. Well. Sort of. Definitely moping. Definitely surrounded. Not quite totally into me. Not ALL of them. Just some of them. And not TOTALLY. Just a little bit.
- Should I even be thinking about women, considering their not entirely beneficial impact on my life? NO.
- Should I call the publisher and get my goddamned novel published? YES.
- Should I cook something reallz really cool? YES.
- Should I cook cajun chicken covered in flour mixed with fresh marjoram, black pepper, a ton of random spices I find in the cupboard and an enormous amount of canned peaches, on a bed of sauteed onions? YES.
- Should I be writing some really interesting stuff now that I eliminated 99 percent of all readers with trivial tripe? YES.
- Should I prepare this sumptuous feast in the presence of an impressionable twenty-something with legs that seem to extend to infinity named ******** and her equally attractive (but with much sluttier makeup) friend? YES.
- Is this entrz going to BITE ME IN THE ASS? YES.
- Did I ever have a brain tumor? YES. Operation complete. Looks good. Still have hair. Still get checked out. Thank you God. (Not for the tumor, for the hair and continued life with hair).
- Do I have a herniated disk? YES.
- Am I getting it taken care of? YES. Off to see the Wizard on Friday.
- Is this Herniated Disk thing following my BRAIN TUMOR a cruel joke by the almighty? YES.
- Will I ever publish this total crap? YES.
- Did I get into UBC? YES.
- Am I going? NO. What am I going to do with an MFA in Poetry from Canada?

I might continue this incredibly interesting, thrilling list of questions later. For now, I am moving on to write an episode of Mr. Fox and Rabbit, Part 10(a). I am simply going to pretend the Part 10 that is already on this blog does not exist. I do this because I am the master of time and space here. And because I typed that one directly into Blogger, so I would be inconvenienced by the necessity of looking it up, as there is no Wireless Internet in the Hungarian boonies (not that I am not tempted to acquire wireless internet for my parents, but it would be a bad thing, very bad for creative writing, if I could just surf the web and procrastinate ad infinitum by reading (and commenting on, much to the strained delight of their owners) the three blogs I actually read. Yes, that would be THL, Sarcastrix and DigitaliCat).