Observations on Flash Gordon (the Movie):

1. Galaxy of Pleasure
Apparently there is a Galaxy of Pleasure (where the dream wine comes from, the wine that many brave men have died to bring to Mungo). My question is: where is this place and why would these brave men ever leave it? An ENTIRE GALAXY! This does beg the question: in this entire galaxy (admittedly dedicated to pleasure) who does actual work? Do they have migrant workers from, say, our galaxy who commute to the pleasure galaxy to clean hot tubs and man the condom factories?


2. Headstone
There is an artifact somewhere that I must have. It is Flash Gordon’s HEADSTONE from the movie. It says:

Flash Gordon
Earthling
Executed
By
Ming

I have to have this thing. I want to be buried under it.

3. People Magazine
Now, when Flash Gordon and Dale get to Dr. Zarkoff’s lab by crashlanding the plane, the pilots have already fallen out. They’re gone. Then Flash and Dale and Dr. Zarkoff blast off in Dr. Zarkoff’s rocket and never come back to Earth (at least not for a few years). The only thing left on the plane is an issue of People magazine with Flash on the cover. Flash autographed the thing at the pilot’s request (just before they died) and put in a personal dedication to the pilot’s son, whose name is Buzz.
I mean, how fucked is Buzz? His father is DEAD. All he got out of this deal is an autographed People magazine by the quarterback of the New York Jets. Admittedly, how frigging valuable would this be to some genuine NFL freak?
The quarterback of the New York Jets is presumed dead, his frozen corpse is in some rocket in deep space, and his last communication on Earth is the People magazine autograph. I mean, this sucker would fetch a pretty penny.

4. Princess Aura
Portrayed by Ornella Mutti. There is nothing funny about her. I just had to mention her. It was a need. ‘Not the bore-worms!’ Ok, that’s funny.

Hail Flash!