Gnomes

I love Total Whore Gnome. First of all, she is waving at you, presuming your interest in her tawdry wares. Second, she is wearing enough makeup (and fake eyelashes! by God!) to cover up any and all imperfections that may scare away a potential John.

Please, Lord, deliver us from Evil.

Lesbo Debbie wears pink so she won't be confused with Militant Lesbo Debbie. You guessed it: Lesbo Debbie is from a tribe of lipstick lesbian garden gnomes, the kind who wear pink and makeup. Notice, however, that she still refuses to wear a skirt.


Hillbilly Gnome comes with his very own compressed vinyl siding walker, painted wooden brown, stripped from the side of his double-wide. He needs it since he is blind and he has motion sickness ever since that party involving that tempting shot of clear liquid that burned so delishisss...